Vulnerability

I love people and I love making people laugh. I've never had problems with my friends not thinking I'm funny, the people I do have problems with just aren't my friends, easy enough. Wait for it....*badum chh!* So when I got my assignment to write and perform a monologue for my acting class, I thought it was going to be easy, breezy, beautiful, CoverGirl. But really, I saw it as my breakthrough performance on my way to becoming a stand-up comedian. The only problem was, there was one rule to the monologue. It had to be a conversation you would have with someone, telling them something, if you knew there were no consequences.

When I found that out, my "funny plans" came to a hault. I tell jokes like it's my job, that's not something I would hold back or worry about having consequences. My classmates wrote ones on abusive boyfriends, backstabbing best friends, and alcoholic brothers. Not exactly the most uplifting way to start off your day on a Tuesday or Thursday.

It's tough for me to speak in public when it's required. I always try to convince myself that I talk to my friends all day long, why should this be any different? But then one of my other personalities comes out and points out that it is waaayyy different. With the monologue, it's definitely hard because of the vulnerability factor. When I perform mine, it will be about a situation that no one knows about. Not to mention, it will be in front of people who aren't my close friends. I'm going to suck it up but I would much rather pout because I don't get to be funny.

My Life's Soundtrack

I. love. music. I constantly have music on in my room, I can't stand to sit in silence. I am one of those people that really wishes they came with their own theme song or background music. I think I have a song to suit every situation that I have ever or will ever face in life. Examples to follow.

Birth: I'm Coming Out by Diana Ross.
Soc-Hop: Sandstorm by Darude.
High School Graduation: Vienna by Billy Joel.
Reflection on Missions Trip: Give Me Your Eyes by Brandon Heath.
College Decision Week: Boston by Augustana.
First Dance at Wedding: Until You by Dave Barnes.
Any Saturday: Saturday by The Rocket Summer.
Motivation in Basketball: Jock Jams Volume 1.
Should the Clock Strike 5:19: 5:19 by Matt Wertz.
Death: Meant to Live by Switchfoot.

I feel like in my small library of music there is a song to describe every emotion I've ever felt, every situation I've ever experienced, and every event I have ever witnessed. That just blows my mind.

Nose Goes

In occured to me today. I take my nose for granted all too often. When I was a kid I only made projects that smelled delicious. Whether that be accomplished via scratch-n-sniff stickers or my personal favorite, the smelly markers that all smelled like something that was the color of the marker. I was fascinated by the fact that they could get one thing to smell like a totally different thing. As I passed the construction site of Caruth this morning, it smelled like bananas. I swear, it reminded me of the yellow marker mixed with banana flavored Runt candies. It was the weirdest thing, and I absolutely loved it.

It got me thinking about how much I love the sense of smell. Without it many things in the world would seem much more dull and lifeless. I wish, though, that everything smelled like fruit, like the pile of mess that was once Caruth. How much happier would you be if you came home and your room smelled like an apple orchard? What if the hallways of Umphrey Lee smelled like strawberries instead of lettuce (if you haven't noticed that go up there, I am not making that up)? I think we would all be in better moods if the world smelled better. I should try it, carry around my bottle of apple Febreeze until my mission to brighten everyone's day is complete. I'll let you know how it goes.

Stupidity Surrounds Us

Every state has dumb laws, we've all heard them. But, I wanted to see just home dumb they got so I did a little research and these were some of favorites, mind you--these are all real laws...

In Chicago, it is illegal to eat in a place that is on fire.

Silly string is banned in Southington, Connecticut.

In Florida, men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown. (Thank God)

It is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor in Denver, CO.

And my personal favorite,

Texas law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.

Clearly, we can see that none of these laws are generally accepted nor are they followed. In my opinion, SMU should have a few new laws of their own. As I was walking back to my dorm from class today, I started counting the number of handicapped parking spaces there are on campus. Once I reached 34, I stopped counting. I live in Peyton and they blocked off 4 spaces in front of our building over break in preparation for the addition of even more handicapped parking. The only thing this tells me is that more students are stealing their grandma's handicapped card in order to gain access to these spaces. There are NOT 15 permanently handicapped students living in this quad with cars. I can almost guarentee it. It usually only goes one way or the other. You are one, handicapped and can't drive, or two you are temporarily handicapped due to an injury and are able to drive. Parking is out of control as it is. I know it's wrong, but the temptation to fake an injury just for parking purposes is becoming harder and harder to resist. We should go on strike.

Anger Management?

I was scared half to death when I watched this video. This is ludacris! No wonder they have an age requirement to vote, thank God. I have no idea where this little girl is getting her information but she can't possibly understand the ins and outs of American governement at the tender age of 8 enough to make such harsh acusations. Heck, I don't even understand it all. I guess she should start considering a career in advertising if she has helped persuade the public into seeing things her way...gosh, that's scary. Get this girl some anger management.

My Person

Christina and Meredith have a unique bond on Grey's Anatomy. They laugh, joke, fight, cry and even physically abuse one another. They are best friends. Christina never lets anyone into her head, except for Meredith. Meredith puts on a strong face around everyone and usually acts like nothing is bothering her, except around Christina. They have the uncanny ability to know what the other one is thinking, when something isn't right, and what is about to come out the other's mouth. And as quoted in their most famous bar scene, they are one another's "person."

Lucky for me, I have a person. Nichole and I have been best friends since we began attending the same school in 7th grade. By now, though, I might as well have known her since birth. Sure, things have changed since we graduated, but it never takes us more than a few minutes to pick up right where we left off. She's my person because she understands me, even when I don't understand myself. She always knows what kind of a mood I am in, no matter how hard I try to convince her otherwise. The most unique thing about our friendship is how dynamic it is. We can go from laughing so hard it hurts to talking about hurt so hard it makes us cry and it's never forced. I haven't found a replacement person since coming to SMU, but I'm not exactly looking for one. It took a lot of time to develop such a connection, so I hope it will be equally as hard to break it. An ode, to my person.

A Deadly Combination

I realized something not so appealing about myself tonight. Among other things, I am a hardcore procrastinator and an intense dreamer. This became a horrible combo when I realized that there are so many things I want to do and would love to do but never get around to because I'm so busy catching up the things I left until the last minute. It would be one thing if I didn't have any ambition in life and didn't really care what I did, thus being able to afford all the procrastination. But, that's not the case. As I sat here tonight in my dorm room pondering the fact that I'm getting older and need to start being more responsible in a whole new way, I was nearly depressed by the fact that I waste so much time just thinking about things I want in life instead of taking steps towards making those things a reality. Maybe the chicken fajitas I had for lunch are getting to me or maybe I fell and hit my head but don't remember. Either way, I better dig myself out of this rut before I get too far in and can't help myself out. Maybe I'll procrastinate my digging a little further as I dream about life beyond the rut.

Candy Corn Caos

There are a few snack foods that I have methods for eating. I eat cupcakes in halves, the bottom first followed by the top, which is the most delicious since it has all the frosting on it. Fruit snacks are always eaten by color, starting from my least favorite color and working my way up to the best, red. Candy corn is another one of those snacks. When I have a handful of them, I bite the tops off and leave the orange and yellow bottoms for last, because they are the best. Most people agree with me, they just don't go to as great of lengths as I do to enjoy my favorite part. The candy companies know nobody likes the white tops too, otherwise they wouldn't produce the candy corn pumpkins, sans white tops! My question is, why not boycott the original candy corn design and just start making them without the stupid white tops?? I don't know, maybe I'm just crazy and it all tastes the same. Except, now you will be thinking about it and wonder why the white part tastes so awful the next time you consume it...

Moving On Faith

I wrote a poem a few weeks that I decided to share. Faith is an important part of me that I don't always do a great job of expressing to others. The Christian faith should be evident in everything I do, but I'm not perfect.

I'm sick of this way of life
Most people don't even see it
You've seen me through my strife
But I'm slipping, a neverending pit
Haven't tried to change, that is until now.

I've reached the end of my pitiful rope
And realized I can't fight alone
I'm confident that You'll fill me with hope
For I know You've seen each tear, heard each moan.
Even in my darkest hour, You were there, waiting.

This won't be a routine change.
I won't let it drift away
This time I'm thinking long range
For I know You'll have great pay
Nothing more rewarding than Your grace.

I'm sorry for what I've made worship
It's not about me--it's all about You
Guard every word coming from my lip
I can be funny, but encourage too.

Make my friendships way deeper
At the end, may I have no regrets.
Continue to grow my faith, make it steeper.
What a wonderful day, when I'll owe no debts.
This is my stand, I'm moving on faith.

Nobody's Perfect

It may be wishful thinking, but I would really like to see this girl featured in her own "super short show" on the Disney Channel. Not only has this video been viewed over a quarter of a million times, but it's part of a series! This girl attempts to lip sync to a handful of popular songs out right now, and each one makes me laugh harder than the last. Her lighting techniques are new and innovative, and her motions unique to the words. I've never seen anything quite like it, prepare your mind as it may be blown in the next 3 minutes and 14 seconds.



Did my sarcasm mislead you in the least? My apologies, but you know you want to see her other...productions, don't lie.

Tailored Advertising?

The other night, my roommate pointed out something very interesting. All of the ad banners along the side of her Facebook profile seemed to be customized specifically to her. She read the list of ads to me and sure enough, they suited her in the areas of her major, her campus activities, and even her relationship status. I thought about it for a little while before officially deeming the idea brilliant. I wonder how it works, assuming there is some program in place to track people's interest and responses to correspond with certain ads.

The idea intrigued me until I looked at my own Facebook profile. The ads promoted things like: the celebrity diet, Shakira's new diet, the Obama campaign, North Face jackets, chemistry.com, and WooMe.com. They really missed the mark with my interests...unless they are trying to tell me that I'm fat, desperately seeking love, and am supporting the wrong candidate. At least they hit right on the mark with North Face, not even sure where they got that from on my profile but I love those things!

Guess I should go change my relationship status and find out where they got the idea that I need to go on a diet from..I'm slightly offended.

Overrated.

That's the only word I have to describe the state fair. I went last year and hated it. I went this year, thinking it couldn't be any worse. It wasn't, but it sure wasn't much better. I, along with 5 of my good friends, rode the ferris wheel, ate everything under the sun, and walked through the car show. Am I missing something? Everyone raves about the Texas State Fair like it's God's gift to the hillbillies. I don't see it. In a diving economy, why are people still willing to pay 5 bucks to get to the fair to pay 14 bucks to get into the fair to pay 6 bucks to ride one ride? Perhaps my friends aren't enough fun to be with or we were just too broke to really enjoy all the fair had to offer. Next year will come and I will probably still go, so why am I even complaining about it? Blech.




Disclaimer: My sincerest apologies if this is your family.

Let's Make A Deal

I love how parents always find a way to turn things around in order to accomplish what they want to accomplish. Exhibit A: I decided that I wanted to visit a friend this coming weekend in San Antonio. I felt that it would be common courtesy to call my mom and make her feel like she was part of the decision making process, even though my mind was already made up. Her response to my idea went a little something like, "How about this, you get some putting lessons next week and you can go to San Antonio." In the words of text language, WTF?!? I have no idea how my mom creatively linked my golf game with my weekend plans, but she found a way...she always does.

Keep in mind that I am on the SMU golf team, we already practice 20 hours a week, and her request would add to that time, thus taking away from my studies as well as my social life, should I ever acquire one of those. Not to mention the fact that I was completely caught off guard and a little offended that my oh-so-supportive mother as mentioned in previous posts would suddenly turn on me. THat's the last time I ever try to do the right thing, I'm going to San Antonio and noone can stop me! So, boo-yah?

Top 4 Reasons Why My Mom Needs A Job

1. She tries too hard to understand. My mom is one of those parents who desperately wants to be cool. She fails so miserably, in fact, that she actually succeeds. It's a strange phenomenon, I know. I will never forget a conversation I had with her after returning home from school one day when I was in 8th grade. It just so happened that my crush of one year and I had decided to "make it official" after school. I was so excited and told my mom that Jeff and I were officially "going out." She smiled, but then instantly looked confused and said, "That's great honey, but you can't drive...where are you going to go exactly?" It took her until we broke up Junior year to figure out that we had been dating the entire time despite my efforts to explain.

2. She worries about things she shouldn't think twice about. I'll admit, my dad and I aren't the greatest at remembering things if we don't write them down. But, I don't think we're the worst at it, either. My mom...begs to differ. She is convinced that if she doesn't remind us to do something 65,000 times along with writing notes all over the house, that we will instantly forget due to incompetence. Not even important things, she does it with trivial matters as well. I remember one time when she told me to pick up cream on my way home from playing golf. She told me 4 times, told my dad 3 seperate times, had a note waiting for us at the breakfast table, a note covering the door handle, and a note sitting in the car. When we finished playing, we each had a voicemail, and no, it wasn't from our friends. We brought home the wrong type of cream, on purpose. It was totally worth the look on her face.

3. She has entirely too much time on her hands. My mom, bless her heart, is very attached to her only child. This quality is a good one, normally. It becomes an issue when you send her kid to college and give her nothing to do. I'm the girl who has to call home every day, I know, tragedy. I wouldn't mind it so much if it were on my own accord, but we all know (or at least I'm guessing you have caught on) my mom wouldn't sleep for 5 minutes if she didn't know I was safely in my room. Heaven forbid I don't pick up while I'm in class, either. It usually means there's a campuswide emergency in which I had to evacuate. I also receive packages periodically, full of things you can only get at home. Shampoo and snack foods are no longer on the shelves of Kroger. If they were, why would my mom spend money to ship them to me?
4. She has entirely too much time on her hands, part II.
I will let a picture from my birthday dinner do all the talking for this one.



I know you're annoyed at the fact that this list wasn't an even 5 but I had to stop, considering the list is virtually neverending.

Everyday Enrichment

This week has been "that kind of week" for almost everyone I've talked to. Seeing Fall Break on the calendar this weekend is an automatic assumption, for most students, that they will encounter a near-death experience before the week is over. And, when it is over, they can let out the greatest sigh of relief since...last semester was over. I don't know about you, but getting into an "eat, sleep, study, repeat" sort of routine get's really old really fast. I'm pretty sure I don't have ADD, but even I can't study for more than 3 or 4 hours at a time before I have to play video games or act like I'm 6 for a few minutes.

Thankfully, I've recently discovered that doing at least one thing a day that is unique in and of itself, greatly reduces my stress level and helps me tolerate the mountain of homework awaiting me. Not only does it calm me down, but gives me a sense of enrichment and adds purpose to each day. In fact, I can even distinguish between that last 5 or 6 days because of these activities! On Sunday, I saw a play by myself. Tuesday, I went for a walk and read at the park. Wednesday, I called two friends that I hadn't talked to since the middle of summer and have an hour's worth of great conversation. This morning, instead of following my normal TuTh routine of napping between classes, I wrote in my journal about Sophomore year thus far. These things may sound trivial and uneventful to you, but to me they were just what I needed to get through this week. Everything that is important to you will fit into your schedule, it's just a matter of deciding exactly what it is that's important in your life. But, no matter what, don't forget to add some enrichment to your life, every day.

Fall Obsession

I don't know if you've noticed, but the past week has brought PERFECT weather. Not too hot, not too cold sort of a thing. My favorite season is fall, for countless reasons. For one, I'm a slightly (slightly, meaning deeply) in love with all things thermal. I have 4 thermal shirts, thermal pants, and 2 thermal sweatshirts. If it were socially acceptable, I would wear a combination of these items, every single day...for the rest of my life. Since it's not, I vask in the opportunity to sport the thermalwear whenever I possibly can. Thus, this weather is again, perfect.

If I were at home, there would also be one other huge contributor to my fall obsession. Edward's Apple Orchard is hard to describe in words. In sights, the orchard is pumpkins and apples and doughnuts, oh my! In smells, it's a sweet concontion of cider, warm fudge, and squash. I've tried to describe to my friends here at school just what they're mising, but noone ever seems to understand. But, when I call my best friends from home around this time, all we talk about it how much we miss the apple orchard. I'll admit, we sound like the stereotypical midwesterners who have nothing better to do than go pick pumpkins and take pictures on tractors. But, I'm okay with that. I'll even own up to that fact that, just today, I received a package from home that had nothing in it but 3 vacuum-sealed blocks of Edward's famous peanut butter and chocolate fudge. I. Am. Obsessed.

Great, now I really want to go home for Fall Break...good thing I can't.

Confirm x 5

I'm sorry, I just had to. This video pokes (yeah, I said it) fun at the cliche that has become Facebook. Why is is that, "are you guys official?" is always followed by, "well, is it on Facebook?" What the heck does it matter!? Who died and left Mark Zuckerberg king? Anyhow, I just had to share this video because it made me feel better about my opinion that the world should not revolve around Facebook. And the fact that the whole parody is set to the eHarmony theme song just makes it that much better. "Confirm! Confirm, confirm, confirm, confirm!"

Would You Rather....

Would you rather have nails for leg hair or have flares shoot out of your nose every time you said "the"? Would you rather hit every red light for the rest of your life or always be wrong? Would you rather have a footlong eyelash that you could never pluck or an earlobe the size of a basketball? And last but not least, would you rather plan your own class schedule using Access or be wrongfully convicted of a crime you didn't commit?

I was on a roll until I hit that last one. I don't know about you but it seems like every time I go to plan my schedule for the upcoming semester, it seems like the departments get together and decide it would be a really great idea to hold class at all the exact same times. Awesome, guys. I really appreciate that. Heaven forbid I try to throw a minor into my education...oh wait, I AM trying to do that. I was a huge fan of AARO, where I sat down and had my schedule handed to me 5 minutes later. I just spent 2 hours trying to work out a decent schedule and still have no earthly idea what I'm going to take. If you need me, I'll be in scheduling pergatory until November 7th when I draw my classes out of a hat, thank you very much.

P.S. Five flares would have shot out of my nose for that post.

Record-breaking Creativity

I just decided that people who hold Guinness World Records are some of the most creative people on the planet. For one, I don't know how some of these people discover they have such talents. I was browsing the website and found records like "fastest time to pluck a turkey," "fastest run 100 meters on ice barefoot," and "most books typed backwards." For starters, what is that guy doing plucking turkeys in the first place? Doesn't he know that ButterBall ups their production of turkeys every year around say...oh, maybe...Thanksgiving?? They even pluck them for you, what a deal. Secondly, who reads books backwards? Noone. So....why not just type them from the beginning, make it easier on yourself. I bet it would improve this person's speed even more.

My favorite, though, is "Furthest Eyeball Popper." I feel bad for this woman, she must have gotten too many unwanted surprises in her day or something. One more stain on the carpet from her kids and those suckers might pop right out, watch it!

Movie Intertextuality

When I was first introduced to the idea of intertextuality, I began thinking of all the movies I had seen that made references to other movies. These types of allusions are the easiest forms of intertextuality to spot, in my opinion. The clip above is from the movie "Master of Disguise" starring Dana Carvey. The whole movie is peppered with his own impersonations and allusions to other characters which are good examples of horizontal intertextuality. If you hadn't been first introduced to the movie "Jaws," you might just think Dana was pretending to be a fisherman in this scene rather than portraying a specific fisherman. Dana was so good at becoming different people in this movie, they even brought Jessica Simpson on set to play herself (but act like Dana Carvey was playing her). TV, movies, theater. Intertextuality is everywhere, not just in advertising.

TV Intertextuality

See more Paris Hilton videos at Funny or Die

Granted, and thankfully, this ad is not real. However, the spoof makes little sense if you have never seen the campaign ad that John McCain put out including images of Britney Spears and Paris Hilton. To see the McCain ad, click here. Paris began her ad with the same opening scene and used some of the same phrases, only in reference to McCain instead of Obama. The really scary part about this is that Paris came dangerously close to making a legit suggestion for energy conservation. Scary.

When I Grow Up...

...I want to be an account planner. After learning about all the different jobs available under the advertising umbrella, I feel like Account Planner or Account Executive would best suit my interests and personality. I know I don't want to travel the road of Copywriter or Freelance Artist, but I give major props to those wh oare able to stay inspired enough to make a career out of it! I am very interested in graphic design but I wouldn't want to be doing it 24/7. Account planner seems to fit me for a few different reasons. Among my group of friends, I seem to be the mediator. If there are problems, I am usually the one to "hear both sides" and give a justified decision in what should be done or what was who's fault. I also love to solve problems. What sometimes gets in the way of my problem solving is the fact that I am a people pleaser. My best friend from high school points it out to me almost every time I talk to her. I don't like when people have a problem with me or are unhappy with something I did. Combining these ideas makes for a great account planner, I think. I want to work with the creatives AND the customers to find that happy medium and generate advertising that will make the client happy, but also achieve the goals of the agency. I am so excited to enter the field of advertising because agencies don't have clear cut job responsibilities. It seems like all the people in the agency help the process along and I would be able to do a little graphic design, for example, even though I would be the "suit" of the agency.

Yeah, I'm Intelligent

Of the seven intelligences presented by psychologist Howard Gardner, I had little difficulty determining which ones I had been blessed with. I can't draw, sing, or play an instrument, my vocabulary is limited, and I'm never in touch with my own feelings. By process of elimination, that leaves me with Bodily/Kinesthetic, Logical, and Interpersonal. In my opinion, these are the three intelligences that I possess the most.

Bodily intelligence comes from my love for golf and water sports. I am on the SMU golf team and have been playing since I was 4 years old. Water sports are just for fun but I love almost all of them, wakeboarding and water skiing are my favorites. Logical is an intelligence I find pretty boring. I have yet to find something interesting to do with my math skills...maybe one day. I got those genes from my dad, the accountant, who also has a personality- imagine that! Finally, I think I am really interpersonal. On the surface, I am easily able to make people laugh and love telling funny stories. But, I am also good at reading others and distinguishing when they are telling the truth about their feelings or holding something back. This one is a blessing and a curse. I would love to have an expertise in each area of intelligence but we'll have to see about that one.