Vulnerability

I love people and I love making people laugh. I've never had problems with my friends not thinking I'm funny, the people I do have problems with just aren't my friends, easy enough. Wait for it....*badum chh!* So when I got my assignment to write and perform a monologue for my acting class, I thought it was going to be easy, breezy, beautiful, CoverGirl. But really, I saw it as my breakthrough performance on my way to becoming a stand-up comedian. The only problem was, there was one rule to the monologue. It had to be a conversation you would have with someone, telling them something, if you knew there were no consequences.

When I found that out, my "funny plans" came to a hault. I tell jokes like it's my job, that's not something I would hold back or worry about having consequences. My classmates wrote ones on abusive boyfriends, backstabbing best friends, and alcoholic brothers. Not exactly the most uplifting way to start off your day on a Tuesday or Thursday.

It's tough for me to speak in public when it's required. I always try to convince myself that I talk to my friends all day long, why should this be any different? But then one of my other personalities comes out and points out that it is waaayyy different. With the monologue, it's definitely hard because of the vulnerability factor. When I perform mine, it will be about a situation that no one knows about. Not to mention, it will be in front of people who aren't my close friends. I'm going to suck it up but I would much rather pout because I don't get to be funny.

My Life's Soundtrack

I. love. music. I constantly have music on in my room, I can't stand to sit in silence. I am one of those people that really wishes they came with their own theme song or background music. I think I have a song to suit every situation that I have ever or will ever face in life. Examples to follow.

Birth: I'm Coming Out by Diana Ross.
Soc-Hop: Sandstorm by Darude.
High School Graduation: Vienna by Billy Joel.
Reflection on Missions Trip: Give Me Your Eyes by Brandon Heath.
College Decision Week: Boston by Augustana.
First Dance at Wedding: Until You by Dave Barnes.
Any Saturday: Saturday by The Rocket Summer.
Motivation in Basketball: Jock Jams Volume 1.
Should the Clock Strike 5:19: 5:19 by Matt Wertz.
Death: Meant to Live by Switchfoot.

I feel like in my small library of music there is a song to describe every emotion I've ever felt, every situation I've ever experienced, and every event I have ever witnessed. That just blows my mind.

Nose Goes

In occured to me today. I take my nose for granted all too often. When I was a kid I only made projects that smelled delicious. Whether that be accomplished via scratch-n-sniff stickers or my personal favorite, the smelly markers that all smelled like something that was the color of the marker. I was fascinated by the fact that they could get one thing to smell like a totally different thing. As I passed the construction site of Caruth this morning, it smelled like bananas. I swear, it reminded me of the yellow marker mixed with banana flavored Runt candies. It was the weirdest thing, and I absolutely loved it.

It got me thinking about how much I love the sense of smell. Without it many things in the world would seem much more dull and lifeless. I wish, though, that everything smelled like fruit, like the pile of mess that was once Caruth. How much happier would you be if you came home and your room smelled like an apple orchard? What if the hallways of Umphrey Lee smelled like strawberries instead of lettuce (if you haven't noticed that go up there, I am not making that up)? I think we would all be in better moods if the world smelled better. I should try it, carry around my bottle of apple Febreeze until my mission to brighten everyone's day is complete. I'll let you know how it goes.

Stupidity Surrounds Us

Every state has dumb laws, we've all heard them. But, I wanted to see just home dumb they got so I did a little research and these were some of favorites, mind you--these are all real laws...

In Chicago, it is illegal to eat in a place that is on fire.

Silly string is banned in Southington, Connecticut.

In Florida, men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown. (Thank God)

It is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor in Denver, CO.

And my personal favorite,

Texas law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.

Clearly, we can see that none of these laws are generally accepted nor are they followed. In my opinion, SMU should have a few new laws of their own. As I was walking back to my dorm from class today, I started counting the number of handicapped parking spaces there are on campus. Once I reached 34, I stopped counting. I live in Peyton and they blocked off 4 spaces in front of our building over break in preparation for the addition of even more handicapped parking. The only thing this tells me is that more students are stealing their grandma's handicapped card in order to gain access to these spaces. There are NOT 15 permanently handicapped students living in this quad with cars. I can almost guarentee it. It usually only goes one way or the other. You are one, handicapped and can't drive, or two you are temporarily handicapped due to an injury and are able to drive. Parking is out of control as it is. I know it's wrong, but the temptation to fake an injury just for parking purposes is becoming harder and harder to resist. We should go on strike.

Anger Management?

I was scared half to death when I watched this video. This is ludacris! No wonder they have an age requirement to vote, thank God. I have no idea where this little girl is getting her information but she can't possibly understand the ins and outs of American governement at the tender age of 8 enough to make such harsh acusations. Heck, I don't even understand it all. I guess she should start considering a career in advertising if she has helped persuade the public into seeing things her way...gosh, that's scary. Get this girl some anger management.

My Person

Christina and Meredith have a unique bond on Grey's Anatomy. They laugh, joke, fight, cry and even physically abuse one another. They are best friends. Christina never lets anyone into her head, except for Meredith. Meredith puts on a strong face around everyone and usually acts like nothing is bothering her, except around Christina. They have the uncanny ability to know what the other one is thinking, when something isn't right, and what is about to come out the other's mouth. And as quoted in their most famous bar scene, they are one another's "person."

Lucky for me, I have a person. Nichole and I have been best friends since we began attending the same school in 7th grade. By now, though, I might as well have known her since birth. Sure, things have changed since we graduated, but it never takes us more than a few minutes to pick up right where we left off. She's my person because she understands me, even when I don't understand myself. She always knows what kind of a mood I am in, no matter how hard I try to convince her otherwise. The most unique thing about our friendship is how dynamic it is. We can go from laughing so hard it hurts to talking about hurt so hard it makes us cry and it's never forced. I haven't found a replacement person since coming to SMU, but I'm not exactly looking for one. It took a lot of time to develop such a connection, so I hope it will be equally as hard to break it. An ode, to my person.

A Deadly Combination

I realized something not so appealing about myself tonight. Among other things, I am a hardcore procrastinator and an intense dreamer. This became a horrible combo when I realized that there are so many things I want to do and would love to do but never get around to because I'm so busy catching up the things I left until the last minute. It would be one thing if I didn't have any ambition in life and didn't really care what I did, thus being able to afford all the procrastination. But, that's not the case. As I sat here tonight in my dorm room pondering the fact that I'm getting older and need to start being more responsible in a whole new way, I was nearly depressed by the fact that I waste so much time just thinking about things I want in life instead of taking steps towards making those things a reality. Maybe the chicken fajitas I had for lunch are getting to me or maybe I fell and hit my head but don't remember. Either way, I better dig myself out of this rut before I get too far in and can't help myself out. Maybe I'll procrastinate my digging a little further as I dream about life beyond the rut.